Vayetzeh
6 Kislev 5774 / Nov.
8-9, 2013
In this week’s portion, Vayetzeh,
we find one of most intriguing love stories in the Bible. Jacob lays
eyes on Rachel for the first time (yes she was his first cousin;
no that wasn’t weird at the time), and knows that they’re meant to be
together. He immediately proceeds to
water her flocks for her, and lets her know who he is and his relationship to
her. After a month of serving in her
father Laban’s house, he is asked what his desired wages are. He says that he’d be willing to work seven
years for the privilege of marrying her.
Laban agrees to the deal, and the Torah tells us that those seven years
“seemed for him but a few days because of his love for her.”
As most love stories do, this one has a bit of an
interesting twist. When the time comes
to marry Rachel, his uncle throws a feast and ultimately tricks Jacob by having
him marry Rachel’s older sister, Leah (setting Leah up for a lifetime of
feeling disappointed and unloved by her husband, given his passion for her
sister). Laban tells Jacob that he can
also have Rachel as a wife (as soon as next week!), provided Jacob agrees to
work another seven years. Jacob agrees
to these news terms, and a week later, Rachel becomes his second wife (with two
concubines to shortly follow – quite
the family unit!).
Ultimately, Jacob has to work for 14 years in order to marry
Rachel (7 before marrying her, and 7 after).
Granted, Biblical years and contemporary years don’t always
match up (Biblical lifespans were just a bit longer than ours today…), but the
amount of work that Jacob was willing to do in order to “earn” the right to
marry Rachel is truly incredible.
As we all know, relationships are hard work. Most of us don’t necessarily think of manual
labor (or shepherding) as constituting such work, but it’s a meaningful
metaphor for us to learn from. Jacob
models for us the fact that we should be willing to work our butts off, over an
extended period of time, for those we love.
For some, this means investing in their relationships and deepening
self-understanding, putting personal dreams on hold for the benefit of your
family, and/or simply doing what needs to get done in order to put food on the
table. For others, such as our military
families who are often apart from their loved ones for months at a time, hard
work for love takes on a similarly powerful meaning.
This Shabbat, reflect on the lengths you would go to for
love. Are you being healthily selfless
when called upon to be such in your relationships? Are you willing/able to put the happiness and
well-being of others ahead of your own?
Where do you draw the line and why? What are you willing to work hard for?
Wishing you a Shabbat shalom,
Rabbi Dan
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